New Ur Jokes - Page 13 - Worst Jokes Ever

Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?

Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.

What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?

You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.

Why did your dad FUCKING LEAVE YOU? He went to suck balls.

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?

She gagged.

Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?

Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.

Me: Can I get your mom's number?

Friend: Here you go:

Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.

Why did your emo mom get you?

To have someone to hang out with.

The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."

(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?

Little Johnny was late to school one day, and Miss Brown asks, "Johnny, how come you're late to class?" And Johnny says, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and started fucking the white cow." Miss Brown said, "Johnny, don't use that word. Next time you want to say that, use the word 'surprised'."

The next day Johnny was late again, and Miss Brown said, "Johnny, why are you late?" And Johnny replied, "Miss, you wouldn't believe it. The farmer's bull got out and 'surprised' the white cow." Miss Brown said, "That's much better, Johnny." And Johnny said, "Yeah, walked straight passed it and started fucking the black one."

How do you know an abo robbed your house?

The bins (trash cans) are empty and the dog is pregnant.

Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth? I don't know. Scan the code on your wrist."

My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!