Ups jokes

This category is messed up.

My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.

Michael proved anything is possible in America. Where else can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman?

Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.

Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.

That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )

I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.

My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.

You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.

I'll shut up now.

Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.

She's so ugly, she has to sneak up on a mirror.

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.

WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.

I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.

Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!

Never gonna give you up.

What did Michael Jackson say before he broke up with Billie Jean?

"Billie Jean is not my lover!"

The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.

And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"

Why does Hitler hate golf?

He would end up in a bunker!

You're so ugly, your class searched up Godfrey Baguma and all called out your name!

Pick up lines.

"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"

"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."

When you fall asleep on the couch and wake up in your bed.

But you know you live alone.

Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.

I was gonna walk up to an emo and say, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"