Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that." The student looked up and replied, "Well, you canât say you werenât warned, Mrs. Matthews."
i beat up a failed musician until he started crying. i thought a few hits would cheer him up!
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not. Not yet says little Johnny so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, I saw you kick the chickens so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either. Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says you want to tell him or should I?
a suicidal boy went up too a tree and said "hi". The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
Your mama so ugly that even Rick Astley had to give her up
why couldnt sally get back up? because she has no friends
The longer the relationship, the longer the breakup will hurt youđ. Better Break up now ooo.đ€Ł
What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.
So basically Star25/AG3.0 and GG miller are the same person since I found some evidence On one post, AG3.0 asked GG miller whatâs his name post right here: worstjokesever.com/community/p/6509c2cbefa8ad0a8dfd8dc5 So gg miller replied, âMILLER IS MY REAL LAST NAME, AND GG IS MY REAL MIDDLE NAMEâ so, we already know Star25âs real name is Adrian Gorges because when he had the AG3.0 account, he said that AG stands for Adrian Gorges. And we also can back this up with his tik tok. www.tiktok.com/@adriangorges2010?lang=en But, thereâs an important factor. Gorges can also be shortened to GG. so, we know that GG miller is AG3.0, but letâs back this up even further. If you search up adrianmiller2010, it pops up with AG3.0âs new accountâs videos. Since GG Millerâs name says, âMillerâ in it, that means that GG Miller IS ag3.0 So taking all of this evidence, we can conclude that AG3.0âs full name, which is, âAdrian Gorges Millerâ. Lmk if you have any more things abouts ag3.0 so we can expose him even more
Fat jokes and mom jokesđ
1 So fat when she sat on the toilet she said a b c d e f g get your fat ass off me.
2 So fat your dad her were in bed and tried to kiss heâd have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.
3 Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini they all started yelling Godzilla Godzilla.
4 your mamaâs so fat when she went bungee jumping she broke the bridge!
5 bill was so fat when he stepped in the scale it said to be continued.
6 yo mamma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your smile's warmth, Lights up my view.
For centuries, Japanâs feudal dictators, called Shoguns, enforced strict laws that kept people from leaving or entering the country. This practice isolated Japan from the rest of the world. By the middle of the 19th century, Japanâs isolationism was creating problems for the United Statesâ whaling industry whose ships needed coal, food, and water available in Japanese ports. And sailors who were shipwrecked on the coast of Japan needed protection from mistreatment. In November 1852, President Millard Fillmore sent an expedition to Japan to solve these problems. Led by Commodore Matthew C. Perry, the the expedition had both steam-powered and sail-powered warships and several hundred men. Perryâs task was to persuade the Japanese to sign a treaty with the United States that would open Japanese ports and protect shipwrecked sailors. On July 8, 1853, the Perry expedition sailed into Edo Bay about thirty miles from the city of Edo (modern Tokyo). During talks with the Shogunâs representatives, the idea of a treaty was repeatedly rejected. But Perry didnât give up. Finally, in February 1854, the Japanese agreed to negotiate a treaty. The Treaty of Kanagawa established peace between the two countries, opened two ports to U.S. shipping, and protected shipwrecked sailors. It was signed on March 31, 1854. Perryâs expedition also opened Japan to the rest of the world. Within two years, Japan signed similar treaties with Russia, Holland, and Britain.
Me: September is here!
[labor day comes]
Also me (ft. Green Day) âWake me up when September ends!
What's 2ft long, blue and stiff and keeps a woman up all night????
Cot death.
Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?
I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?" The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again." An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them." A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream." If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off? A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect." "Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
I rub lipstick on my forehead to make up my mind
Are you a lollipop? Because I can suck on you all day. Are you an Oreo? Because I eat the cream first. Are you a microwave? Because Iâm trying to keep you quiet at 3:00 am. Are you a sprinkler? Cause every time I see you I get wet. Are you makeup? Cause Iâd spend hours doing you. Are you a guitar? Because Iâd love to hear the noises you make when I play with you. Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna ride you up and down. Most restaurants are closed at night.. but your legs arenât. Iâm not a cashier, but you got a couple of things I wanna check out. Are you Cinderella? Because I can see that dress coming off at midnight. Are you a calendar? Because I want to pin you against the wall. I donât know whatâs gotten into me lately... but I hope itâs you. Are you a doughnut? Cause I wanna fill you with cream. Are you a garden? Cause I want to plant some seeds inside of you. Do you sing in the shower? Because if so I need a private ticket of your concert. Are your legs the twin towers? Because Iâll bomb whatâs in between. Are you a blanket? Because your on top of me every night. Are you a phone? Cause I like to be on you 24/7. Are you a roller coaster? Because the faster you go, the louder I scream. Iâm so jealous of your heart right now because itâs pounding inside of you and Iâm not. Are you a popsicle? Cause all I want to do is lick you up and down. Are you a construction worker? Because you got me all bricked up. Are you a fireman? Because you came in hot and left me wet.
Whatâs the worst part about a dead prostitute
You end up doing all the work
An old professorâs class used, to begin with, a dirty joke. Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began. When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, âGood morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of wh*res in Newfoundland?â With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door. âWait, ladies,â called the professor, âThe boat doesnât leave until tomorrow!â