How many line cooks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Three. One to do it, and two to say that they did it better at the previous restaurant they were at.
Kobe Bryant And 9/11 are two things i dont joke about because when i do they tend to crash and burn
there's two types of emo people
1. people that cut side to side
2. and people that cut up and down
the most efficient is up and down
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it. The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!" (Found on the web if you don't like it don't leave a hate comment)
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”
How many quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb? 4! One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Allouette, gentille allouette!"
Two priests are in a bar one says to the other priest Ill swap you 2 5 for a 10
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Whats the difference between NASA and religion
NASA takes you through space Religion takes you through two towers
There’s Two Mexicans in a car Whose driving
A Cop
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Two cats called '1,2,3' & 'un,deux,trois' had a swimming race across the channel. 1,2,3 cat won because un, deux, trois cat sank!
Most people think an octopus has 8 legs.
Actually, they have 6 legs and 2 arms. How can you tell which are the arms?
Hit it on the head. The two that go up to the head when he says "Owwww" are his arms.
Two boys are talking on the bus Boy 1: I feel like i'm forgetting something. Boy 2: hey did you hear about that school shooting last week? Boy 1: oh that's right
Two men were bartering over a marble slab. A lot of counter-offers were made.
Two guys are on the playground one guys says too the other “did you know that Hellen Keller had a play ground in her backyard” the other guy said “no” the first guy says “neither did she
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre.Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée !”
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
What do you call a pregnant slave. A two for one deal.
