A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: Bro, you still got my Nikes? Boy 2: Ye, sorry. I got em dirty. Boy 1: Please clean them, we have school tomorrow.
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk (goes to the store grabs milk) as I grab the milk I thought hey I bet I can repeat her life twice
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
you dont need a parachute to go skydiving you only need a parachute to go skydifing twice
why did the roster cross the road twice?
to prove it was not a chicken
I had amnesia once...maybe twice.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, he sees an angel standing in the center of a room, surrounded by clocks. The man goes over to the angel and says, "What are these clocks for?" The angel looks at him. "These are lie clocks," the angel says, "everytime someone lies, it ticks once, Mother Terresa never lied, so hers is at noon, and Honest Abe only lied twice." The man asks, " Where is Bill Clinton's clock?" The angel smiles, then points up at the fan.
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day? -- "Deja moo!"
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My teacher got so made at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and i said “damn, got hit twice”
we destroyed 2 boats, AND THEY DROPPED THE SUN ON US TWICE
Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes
Nothing you told them twice
a man dies and goes to heaven he sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for, he replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. he said that mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincon's once, and George Washington's never. the man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Bidden's is the one keeping the hurricane's to speed
You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do
