Twice Jokes

while undressing a woman, she told me she has aids, i told her she cant catch it twice but she still kept screaming

yo mama so fat thanos had to snap twice

How is the world like dirt?Because we don't think twice about it.

I told my orphan girlfriend that I had to grab milk (goes to the store grabs milk) as I grab the milk I thought hey I bet I can repeat her life twice

Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

I hope death is a woman That way she'll never look at me twice

How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice. Wipe your bloody cock off on her favourite teddy bear after you’ve finished raping her

An ugly arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.

The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins, Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"

The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice,"

why dont you see black people with down syndrome? Because god doesnt punish someone twice

What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day? -- "Deja moo!"

A man goes into heaven and there he meets jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says "that is mother teresa's clock it has never moved because she has never lied". "There is Abraham Lincolns clock. He has .lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" Ask's the man. Jesus answers "it is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."

Azibo works 10 hours a day in the sun and is paid 1 euro an hour. Thanks to a fundraiser we will be able to raise the necessary funds to buy a whip to make him work twice as much.

we destroyed 2 boats, AND THEY DROPPED THE SUN ON US TWICE

You can easily outrun a midget because they have to run twice as much as you do

Why did the dog cross the road twice? Because he was trying to catch a boomerang

What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?

The letter M.

the parents who left their kids on the side of the road should of thought twice and got abortion

"I've only been ripped off twice in my life. The first time was when I ordered three kebabs and they only delivered two. The second time was when we signed Cristiano Ronaldo." -Al Nassr owner