Chuck Norris counted to infinity TWICE
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout
Because every time they scan it scans twice.
Don't pick flat chest because they will turn their backs on you twice
Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place, but chuck Norris does.
you dont need a parachute to go skydiving you only need a parachute to go skydifing twice
why did the roster cross the road twice?
to prove it was not a chicken
I had amnesia once...maybe twice.
My teacher got so made at me for making 9/11 jokes, she hit me twice and i said “damn, got hit twice”
What do you call a person with 2 black eyes
Nothing you told them twice
A boy and his friend were walking down the street.
Boy 1: Bro, you still got my Nikes? Boy 2: Ye, sorry. I got em dirty. Boy 1: Please clean them, we have school tomorrow.
Boy 2 got back to his house and decided to clean his friend's shoes. After he finished drying them, he got stuck in his painfully small dryer. Then he remembered his brother needed something from the dryer. So he tried to get out, when his brother came in.
He came in twice.
(like if u understand)
what number is better than 69? 88 cause you get ate twice.
What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person
You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message
You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed but you only have 2 bullets left, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer. Twice.
What is the difference between a climate change and the green house effect once a philosopher twice a sodomite
Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove he wasn’t a chicken!
Yo mama so fat, you must refuel twice to run over her with a car.
What do you say to a women with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've told her twice.
my grandad was shocked to learn that lightning can strike in the same place twice.
Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
your mama is so fat 1 punch man had to punch twice
