Tree

Tree Jokes

Story

"Grandma, tell me a story!" I said as we huddled near the campfire.

"Alright," she said, "Once, there was a tree named Timmy, he was my best tree friend. I used to read books under him and climb all his branches."

"Where is Timmy now?" I asked.

Grandma pointed to the campfire.

Body

When it's been Halloween for a few months, but there's still a body hanging from your neighbor's tree.

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  • Trio

    Us three get along well. I guess you could say we're the TREE-o!

    Family Tree

    I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran.

    Kid

    Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?

    A: Wave at him.

    Noose

    Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.

    The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"

    He grabs a noose.

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  • Banana

    Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."

    Walnut says, "I look like a brain."

    Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."

    Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"

    Dummy

    Rock-a-bye dummy, in the tree top.

    When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.

    When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall.

    Down will come dummy, cradle and all.

    Fridge

    What is black and white and sits in a tree?

    A fridge wearing a leather jacket! XD

    Sarah

    Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.

    Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.

    Apple Tree

    My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.

    Grandpa

    When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"

    Oak

    What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?

    You should leaf it alone!

    Misfortune

    When I try to eat, but I hurt my feet. When I using a hoe, but I hurt my toe. When I going to a doctor, but then I get trolled. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

    When I using a copper, but I enveloped by a hopper. When I trying to draw someone, but it ended up with a punishment. When I spit on a bunny, it jumps right on me. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

    When I growing older, someone called me a slacker. When I was 33, I bumped into a tree. When I getting angry, people calls me crazy lady. Oh I just, want to say, what the flip?!!

    Ear

    I speak for the trees.

    *Trees whisper in my ear*

    They said six million wasn't enough.