Train Jokes

I could be your Dad

Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She tort them all to pull out on time.

in Depression

are you a train because i want to get railed by you ;)


Why did timmy drop his ice cream cone…

He got hit by a train


A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn’t hit one person, when the police asked why he missed, someone said cause he gay.

He couldn’t shoot straight

Boomba Bay 2.0
in Glue

What did the train made of glue make? GLUE GLUUUUUUUUUUUE


What did Amtrak say at the Olympics I AM keeping Trak


What do you call a not potty trained human?

Amber Heard

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf. Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the psg training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE🀬😑


Say what you want about Hitler at least he got the trains to run on time

in Little Johnny

Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.

What’s the difference between China and New York City?

In China, the Asians ride ON the trains. In New York City, they usually end up riding UNDER them.

igloo and you

How does a train eat?

Chew chew!

Mr Disco

What’s white, yellow and goes 40 mph?

A train driver’s egg sandwich


How does a train dance?It bogies!πŸš‚πŸšƒπŸšƒπŸšƒπŸšƒπŸšƒπŸšƒπŸšƒπŸšƒπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


What the slowest train in the world?A slowcoach!πŸš‚πŸšƒπŸšƒπŸšƒπŸšƒπŸšƒπŸšƒπŸšƒπŸšƒ

in Crash

What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?

They always line up.