How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
Tragedy Jokes
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
Me: dozes off while driving. Everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11.
Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?
Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.
What's black and sitting in a chair? Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was an amazing pilot.
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."
I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."
I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.
