Tragedy jokes

Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it has faster reflexes than the Twin Towers.

So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."

What was the last thing going through the minds of the people who jumped out of the buildings during 9/11?

Their ankles.

I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.

Why can't Kobe go shopping?

He's dead.

What do George Floyd and an astronaut have in common?

They both have very little air to breathe.

We shouldn't joke about major tragedies. My dad died in 9/11, he was Saudi Arabia's best pilot.

George Floyd was in a TV show, Fresh Prince, with no air.

Roses are red, violets are violet.

My grandad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?

You give them a Sandy Hook.

What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?

The Las Vegas shooting.

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?

Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.

Every time I make a 9/11 joke, it bombs.

My dad told me a joke one time. When I realized the joke, the second tower was hit.

*At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victim's Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..."

Me: "Honestly... Probably his ass."

Why are the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered burgers, but what they got was plane.

This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."

I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.

Titanic: ight, I need a place to CRASH tonight.

You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.