I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?
Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.
Me: dozes off while driving. Everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
what do you call a rape victim in Ukraine?
Debris.
What's black and sitting in a chair? Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was an amazing pilot.
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."
I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.
