Tragedy jokes
You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?
"Here Comes the Sun."
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
Where did Kobe go after the helicopter crashed? Everywhere.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
Me: dozes off while driving. Everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11.
Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?
Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.
What's black and sitting in a chair? Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was an amazing pilot.
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.