Tragedy jokes
Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot.
Me: dozes off while driving. Everybody else on the passenger plane on September 11.
Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?
Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.
1 like = 1 more missile aimed at a hospital.
Who are the fastest readers of all time?
People who jumped out of the Twin Towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.
Memes
What's black and sitting in a chair? Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was an amazing pilot.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.
One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.
The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."
I did a knock knock joke to an orphan. I said, "Knock knock." He said, "Who is there?" And I said, "Not your parents."
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
Alright kids! Find a good place to stop! Then, out of the blue, Billy died. But hey, he went to a better place.
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.