I was just chilling in the World Trade Center and got airplane wifi.
What's the difference between twin towers and McDonald's?
One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru.
I wasn't close to my father when he died. Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine.
Six was scared of seven because 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because he was caught between 9/11.
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
What do pedophiles and Sandy Hook have in common?
Shooting up schoolchildren.
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
NWA: Straight Outta Compton.
Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter.
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,
So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
What does Jeffrey Dahmer and Travis Scott have in common?
Eight dead people.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
What do Spider-Man and orphans have in common?
There’s no way home.
What did the helicopter say to the mountain?
Kobe.
What do u call an orphan that takes a photo?
A family photo!
Me: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Me: Not your family.
