Tragedy jokes

Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.

There was a little kid crying in the park today. I asked him where his parents were. Now I realize, man, I love my job.

People tell Kobe to fly high, but when he flew high, he died.

What type of jokes do you tell an orphan?

Family jokes.

"Knock, knock."

"Orphan: Who's there?"

"Not your parents."

Whoever said white people can't jump obviously hasn't seen the 9/11 footage.

Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.

Oh wait, I forgot.

I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I don’t understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "what’s so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kid’s head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parent’s heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."

On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.

The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.

What do you call a dead baby?

Spawn killed.

I visited the 9/11 memorial, that was bomb just like the towers.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels."

Where did Johnny go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

I feel bad for the guy in 9/11 who ordered a salami pizza. Instead, he just got a plane.

What song do you think was playing at the school?

"Pumped Up Kicks"

What was the last thing to go through JFK's mind?

A bullet.

How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...

Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.

Kobe Bryant never missed a shot.

But he nailed that mountain.