Tragedy jokes

I called the rape advice line last night. Turns out it's just for victims.

Why were the Twin Towers scared at dinner?

Because their mom said, "Here comes the airplane!"

You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.

Wanna know why not to joke about 9/11? They usually crash the party.

Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.

Where did Johnny go during the bombing?

Everywhere.

A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”

What is 6 inches long and makes women scream? Stillbirth...

Me: Wanna play 9/11?

Friend: What's that?

Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.

Warning, this is dark.

How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch? Give 'em a Sandy Hook.

Q: What's stronger than family?

A: Whatever tree Paul Walker hit.

What was the favorite game in 2001? Flight simulator.

Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."

What do the movies The 6th Sense and Titanic have in common?

Icy dead people.

Who says “white men can't jump?” They certainly did when the twin towers were falling.

I ran over three disabled kids.

"Cripple kill."

A receptionist at the Twin Towers orders two pepperoni pizzas. She was upset when she got two planes.

What joke do you tell an orphan?

Knock knock...

Who's there?

Not your parents.

Why do orphans get offended by dark humor?

It doesn’t hit home.

What do you call an emo filming their suicide?

America's Funniest Home Videos.