Tragedy jokes

What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head?

A bullet.

Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?

It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.

I have a daughter; she’s a fan. Her name is Penny. Fan she was born on the mountain Pen y Fan. I adopted her because her mum fell off the cliff after birthing Penny. It doesn’t matter, really; Penny’s mum wasn’t a big fan of her anyway.

You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.

The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...

On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."

How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.

My life, part 2.

A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.

To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."

He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.

My wife was run over.

A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."

Three construction workers were sitting on the bridge that they were building, having their lunch break. The first guy says, "If I get a Vegemite sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The second guy says, "If I get a peanut butter sandwich again, I am going to jump off this bridge." The third guy says, "If I get another strawberry jam sandwich, then I am going to jump off this bridge." The next day, the first guy gets a Vegemite sandwich, the second guy gets a peanut butter sandwich, and the third guy gets a strawberry jam sandwich. All three guys jump off the bridge and die. The next day at their funerals, the first wife says, "If he just told me, I would have given him a different sandwich." The second guy's wife says, "It is all my fault. If only I knew." The third wife says, "I don't get it, he makes his own lunch."

The Titanic was in a pickle when they saw the iceberg.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.

After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.

They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.

That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.

Titanic - "Yo, look at that sexy babe of an iceberg, let's hit her!"

I will always remember my baby sister's last words: "What is the fire for?"

I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.

My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."