Tragedy jokes
What's a school shooter's favorite flower?
Columbine.
Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Not Sally, she doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus.
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
What’s black and sits on top of the stairs?
Christopher Reeves in a house fire.
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
What's the difference between the Titanic and Georgie from "It"?
Georgie floated!
Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?
Because they are aimed at a younger audience.
What’s an abbreviation for school in America?
Shooting range.
Jokes just as dead as the victims.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?
Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.
Orphan: I want to be like Batman.
Orphan worker: You are already like him, honey.
Orphan: "I want to kill my parents."
People: "I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man."
When you decide to turn your high school into your personal shooting range, but you don’t give any proper notice except for a bullet to the head...
Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Yea, they found her “head and shoulders“ on the backseat of her car.
What do you describe Titanic as?
... Broken...
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory, and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work.
Paddy agrees to tell Seamus' wife the bad news. He knocks on the door, and Seamus' wife answers. "What's happened, Paddy?" Paddy frowns. "I'm sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, I'm so sorry." She started to cry and asked Paddy: "Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, "No, he got out 3 times for a pee."