Worst Jokes Ever
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.
What do you call a smart pig?
A Swinestein.
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!
Why did an orphan kill ET?
To phone home.
Two cunts are better than one, but one cunt is better than none.
If someone with a lisp dropped a hammer on their foot, would they be Thor?
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
Why was the calf afraid?
Because she was a cow-herd.
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I have an orphan joke.
But it needs parental guidance.
People ask me if my friend jumps off a bridge, will I go as well? Of course not. I am a leader; I will go first, my friend will jump after me!
What time do terrorists arrive in New York City?
9:11 AM
Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).
What do you call it when Panera is over?
Panera end.
What does an electric-type Pokémon say when they get gassy while drinking milk?
I’m Zaptos intolerant!
What do priests and McDonald's have in common? They both like putting their meat in between 5-year-old buns.
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