Worst Jokes Ever
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall.
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
weixian
What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?
Him: I work with animals all day.
Her: Awwww what do you do?
Him: I'm a pornstar.
I fucked the shit outta of my friend's mom with my 8 inch dick (Adrian). PS. Sorry, Adrian!
What did the chicken say to the turkey?
Nothing, he chickened out!
I was in a terrorist a famous terrorist group. No, not the Taliban. We called ourselves the Talabam.
Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.
What do you call a rapper who works in the bakery?
DOUGH-KNIGHT
I take back my comments on the United healthcare CEO.
Being poisoned by a nurse wouldn't be that bad of a way to die as long as the nurse diluted the potassium chloride first.
Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.
Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.
I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.
I love the word legs.
Wanna help me spread the word?
I want a bigger couch.
Why? You're going to be in the kitchen most of the time anyway.
My friend lives in a caravan park. His parents named him Money because they thought it was a type of currency.
If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy.
I’m about to tell you the funniest joke I heard:
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls emergency services. The operator then hears the problem and says, “Well, let’s make sure he’s dead.” A shot is then heard. The other guy says, “Ok, now what?”
Did you laugh?
Yo mama so fat, she classified as a whole solar system.