Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

Did you hear about the bull who went on a shooting rampage?

I guess he was a little deranged.

Q: Why aren't emo jokes funny?

A: They always seem to cut a little too close.

Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion?

A. May your baby rest in pieces.

I used to be emo, but I don't cut myself to solve my problems anymore.

I just drink a bunch of liquor like an adult.

Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?

A. She didn't know how to swallow.

Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?

Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?

A. A mixed vegetable.

My first thought when I read Betty Pear's obituary was, "Thank God for Alzheimer's!"

Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.