Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.

I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.

Yo mama so fat, COW!

Hi. Did sskskss sis askance ddodks sjissmsnsiam a sksddkddd mc?

Lady: I am going to come to your house.

Man: Ok.

An hour later, the lady is at the man's house. The man meets her outside of the house.

Man: You are going to cum to my house!

And then he fucks her.

What's the difference between a mole and a priest?

One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.

When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”

Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.

My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.

I fucked your girl.

I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?

Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.

What do cheetahs wear to work?

They can't change because cheetahs can't change their spots!

Rhydon- son.

Rhydon? - mum.

RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.

Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.

XD

Me and my cancer

Are like a game of Fortnite.

I’ll never win.

Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.

What is a home that can fly?

A magic house!

Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?

A: Owwww!!!!!

I want to do Uranus. (tounge emoji) (wet emoji)