Worst Jokes Ever
What did the man say to his wife, wanna play?
Why did the Russian cross the road?
To get to the other side.
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.
Earlier that day...
Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.
Mission on space.
Mars: Moon? You okay?
Moon:...
Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!
*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
One day, this dad and his son went to a basketball factory, and the son said, "I want to buy some balls." The dad said, "What for?" The son said, "So you can have some balls."
Take it in the ear day? More like take it in the rear day.
God better hope they got an elevator to Heaven.
Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?
Asgard.
Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?
Never mind, it was needle-ess.
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired!
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
His wife shut off the internet.
What do you call a knight that has one arm? A first battle night.
What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight.
Wanna hear a paper joke? Nvm, it's terrible.