Worst Jokes Ever
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.
Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.
Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?
A: Because they like to come in a little behind.
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊
Which category is glory in?
Cats.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
Where did Alice go during the explosion?
Everywhere.
What did the squash say to the tomato?
Ketchup!
Was ist der Lieblingssport eines Deutschen?
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"
There's a new horror movie about Stephen Hawking.
It's called "Unplugged!"
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Yo mama so stupid that when she went to see Fast and Furious 8, she was bringing her car to the theater.
What did the fish say when he got to the dam?
"Dam water."
"Dam!"
A skeleton had a job interview, but he looked messy.
I had to fix his collarbone.
Tell someone to say "alpha" and then "kenny one". Tell them to say it very fast. Tell them it sounded like they said, "I'll fuck anyone!"
You're walking into a bar and you see 2 younger kids around 18. You call the manager to have them removed, but no one came down.
Later that night, you see the 2 18-year-olds, 1 was a girl and the other was a boy, so you call the manager down. No one came again. You confront them and tell them to leave, but one turns around and hits you. You are knocked out on the floor. When you wake up, there is a hard feeling in your a**. You turn your head around and there is an autistic girl with a strap-on in your a** going full on hard.