Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

A man walks into a bar carrying a big chunk of asphalt and says to the bartender, ā€œMake mine a double Scotch and one more for the road.ā€

Why are blinds called blinds?

Because when they aren’t closed, they are blinding!

I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.

The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.

The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.

LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.

Why can't homeless people buy a house?

'Cause they live on the streets.

What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?

They both sprout water.

Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?

Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.

Friend: I must order more nuts.

Why did the Irishman use three condoms? To be sure, to be sure, to be sure!

Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?

Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*

Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.

Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*