Worst Jokes Ever

I asked my French mate if he had a games console. He said, "Oui!"

Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

You're so clapped that you make Susan Boyle attractive.

A "monster" that has 2 heads, 2 bodies, 6 feet, why am I not afraid of the "monster"? It's my dad riding a horse.

What did Helen Keller's mother do to her when she was mad at her?

She left the plunger in the toilet, she put doorknobs on all the walls, and she rearranged the furniture.

I saw this boy named Phone. He said where would he live? I said an orphanage.

What's the difference between me and a corpse? I mean, I'm not dead... yet, right?

I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.

She got on the scale, said "to be continued."

"Joe Mama so fat she plays pool table the Earth."

How do emo kids compliment each other? They say, "I like your cuts, G!"

What does a dick and an elderly person have in common? They are both short.

Yo hairline is too pushed back, looking like it got slapped up by Will Smith.

You're so emo, the sun turned black.

French jab is ban French's backwards.

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

Don't turn the toaster sideways, worst mistake of my life.

Damn, that beat dropped harder than my grandma falling down the stairs.

"I miss you.

Being happy was never that hard without you..."

Someone's dad: You think he/she wants to join me? I didn't get the milk...

What do you call a dark, average height Punjabi male?

Josiah.