Worst Jokes Ever

Your dad left you 10 years ago and you're 10 years old, so your dad anniversary is today.

But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!

So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.

He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"

The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."

The person says: "What's a dilo?"

Best pick up line EVER.

There is an app on your phone called ringer. Go into it. There is a 12 to 15 digit number. Enter that into my phone, my dick will get 12 to 15 inches longer.

Bro, I was told that "LMAO" meant launching missiles at orphanages. Well, I LMAOed. I don't think they are ever gonna see their parents again.

Russia is worse than the USSR.

Russia is just a bonerless USSR.

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”

What do you call someone who has sex with foals, calves, and lambs? A Quadrupedophile.

Mommy, mommy! Are we bank robbers?

Shut up and pass me the note.

Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?

Shut up and keep sewing!

"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"

"Only in your dreams."

Dad, I love you.

Son, I love you.

I made a website on orphans, sadly it didn't have a homepage.

I can't walk, I can't talk, but I can drive a wheelchair.

For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.

There were ten in the bed and the little one said... "Roll over..."

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?

"Don't push me."

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Steven.

Can't you read? It says, "No Hawking."

Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."