Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
What do you call a Japanese car thief?
Tommy took a motor.
Why was Saudi Arabia sad during 9/11?
Because there were no more planes.
Yo bro, look at this twig I found on the floor. Wait...
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."
A boy is working on his English homework and asks his father for some help. "Dad, what's the difference between 'potential' and 'reality'?"
His dad replies, "I'll tell you what. Go ask your mother if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks. Then go ask your sister if she'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks. Once you have their answers, you'll know the difference."
So the boy goes to his mother and poses the question: "Would she sleep with Robert Redford for a million bucks?"
She answers, "Don't tell your Dad, but yes, I certainly would!"
The boy then goes to his sister and asks her his next question: "Would she sleep with Brad Pitt for a million bucks?"
"Oh definitely!" she answers, without a moment's thought.
The boy goes back to his father, an expression of understanding on his face.
"You're right, Dad, I know the difference now. Potentially, we're sitting on two million bucks. In reality, we're living with a couple of sluts."
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
What did Kobe say to the helicopter?
"Don't crash!"
Explain Bear, girl, you're tripping.
POV: You keep having auditory hallucinations and fully believe your house is haunted because you never went and got diagnosed for schizophrenia.
Why can’t orphans go to jail? Because they aren’t wanted.
Jesus walks into a motel, puts three nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for the night?"
When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.
Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."
What is a woman's name with one leg?
Eileen.
What did the World Trade Center order from Domino's Pizza?
They ordered two large planes.
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"