Worst Jokes Ever
Why do people play basketball?
Because they want to learn how to suck balls.
My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.
My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.
My wife is so fat. I finally got up the energy to walk around to the other side. I found someone else!
My wife is so fat. She buys her clothes at Tent & Awning!
A guy goes into the gas station and says, "I need a box of rubbers with pesticide."
The cashier said, "Pesticide? Don't you mean spermicide?"
The guy says, "No! My old lady has had a bug up her ass all week, and I am going to kill it."
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
Your mama is so fat.
She steps on the scales. She has to return in a couple days to get the results.
Your mama is such a hoe! It took her 4 attempts to pass her driving test. She couldn't get used to the front seat.
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
How are baseball and an orphan different?
A baseball game you can do a home run.
Why drink water and not bleach?
Why was the orphan so successful? Because when they were told “go big or go home,” they only had one option.
My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg?
TY-WON-SHO
(Tie one shoe)
What the when what yeah what yeah then uh huh?
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
What do you call a person that [proudly] knows only one language? A bloody seppo.
What do you call a person that speaks five languages? A Euro waiter.