Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
Yo mama is so ugly, the sunglasses walked away.
What did the salad dressing say to the tomato?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To get to the rear end.
I had two boxes: one Roblox, one Xbox.
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
What did the bus driver say to the nut 🥜?
"Where do you live?"
Why did your friend eat the burger?
Because he wanted to murder all burgers and was starting with this one!
Not really. He was just hungry.
I will never forget my grandpa's last words:
Alahu-Akbar.
Bippity Boppity,
Women are property.
Why does Kurt Cobain hate his brother?
Because he's always calling shotgun.
Jacob has a small penis.
What did a gay Indian use as weapons of war?
A rain-bow.
So anyway, this old guy goes to the doctors. The doctor says, "It's bad news, you've got cancer and Alzheimer's." The old guy replies, "At least I've not got cancer!"
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What did the cow say every morning?
Good moorning!
Question: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Answer: Because they taste funny!
My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."