Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a baby and a Dorito?
One is a tasty snack, the other is a Dorito.
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
How do you fit 53 babies into a box?
First get a blender...
You are quite [something].
I love stairs. They always bring me up.
Teacher: What’s 2+2?
Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh
Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?
Because he was grounded.
Year 10 English.
Roses are red, chocolate is brown,
I expect nothing and still get let down!
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
A man with a drum.
"Well, tell him to beat it!"
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
Why did Shelley fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."