Worst Jokes Ever
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they have already lost 2 towers!
A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:
"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."
Sometime ago I went to the morgue and asked if they took walk-ins.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: Because they don't have anyone they can call "Daddy."
People in 1912: The Titanic is unsinkable!
Iceberg: Hold my beer.
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
Yo momma so fat that people jumped on her cuz they thought she was a school bus.
Charger: Yo, Phone.
Phone: Yeah?
Charger: Can I plug all in you?
Phone: Ayooo!
I HATE URANUS! I WANNA KICK IT!
The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.
The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."
BULLY vs. QUIET KID
Bully: I bet your dick is as small as a Tic Tac.
Quiet Kid: That's why your mom's breath smells so good.
QUIET KID WINS
I put a magnet in my butthole and made the teachers smell it.
Me: Let's go to Randy's.
Friend: There's no Randy's.
Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! I wanted to save him, but a local stopped me. “That’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!
Yo momma so fat, her ankle broke and gravy poured out.
What is the Mexican police number?
9 Juan Juan.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she got shot. Dumb bitch!
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.
Then I told him, "What are you doing?"
He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.
He then told me how easy would that be?
I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."