Worst Jokes Ever
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
Is skin picking self-harm?
Cause I'm red all over without a razor.
When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:
"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"
Depressed person: *chokes on food* *involuntary coughs untill they can breathe* "AWWW I failed the race!!"
R.I.P. on a tombstone normally means "Rest In Peace"; however, in Madeleine McCann's case, it means "Raped In Portugal".
My boat is super fast, so I named it Usain.
Usain Boat.
The next woman who says she'd rather be alone in the woods with a bear, I'm throwing her in a pit with a bear and making her fight it with a wooden sword while drinking and singing "The Bear and the Maiden Fair."
Satan: "Why are you in hell?"
Me: "I threw itching powder on somebody with no arms."
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
What do orphans and Trump supporters have in common?
No one likes them.
What's the similarity between dogs and poor people?
They both eat from trash.
What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."
When the drip is sus.
Why be homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist when you can be quiet?
Why can't an orphan suck my nut?
A girl can, one knows how.
How do you get away with rape?
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.
Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.
Jane ate her friend’s colon.
What is Osama bin Laden and his al-Qaeda organization's favorite song?
It's raining planes! Hallelujah!
Why are fire trucks big?
To hang out with the firefighters!
I think that church is boring.