Worst Jokes Ever
Shower thought: If everyone had schizophrenia, no one would know we had schizophrenia or know what it is!
American-accented, British pronunciation, what am I?
Either Canadian or European.
What do you call an orphan in a room full of mirrors?
Surrounded by loved ones.
What happens if you look in the mirror and say fentanyl 3 times? You'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.
Yo mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.
Q: Why are flat-earthers seen so many these days? A: Because one girl wore an earth-printed shirt.
Why did Jeffrey Dahmer only date black men?
Nutella!
What’s the difference between an orphan’s parents and a boomerang?
The boomerang came back.
How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.
Who are the fastest readers on Earth?
The pilots flying the 9/11 planes. They went through 6 stories in 5 seconds.
Your mom is so fat, when she went to the ugly contest, they said, "No professionals."
Your hairline so bad even God says, "Aaaaahhhh!"
What was racing through people's minds during 9/11?
Probably a plane. (:
It's okay if you miss while saying "Kobe" because he didn't make it either.
USS Liberty. Never forget.
It was bombed and destroyed by the Israeli airforce. Thirty-four dead, 171 wounded. The official story says “accident,” yet an American flag was clearly visible on the ship.
Motive: An attempt to cut off our foreign intelligence on Israel? Blame the bombing on an Arab country?
Just imagine if any other nation bombed an American ship...
The Twin Towers were mad at each other, so they all just started launching planes at themselves.
Why don't terrorists like Walmart?
They prefer a Target.
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
What's the difference between a Christian and a child who believes Santa exists?
Nothing. They both believe in fairytales!
Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?
Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.