Worst Jokes Ever

I suck on cups so START RUNNIN' CUPHEAD!

Sorry.

Why are you sorry?

Sorry for putting deez nuts in your mouth.

"Jizzy jazz all over my ass."

What do pimps and farmers have in common?

They both need a hoe to stay in business.

I like penis in my bum!

Spiderman needs to fight against the emos, new movie idea!

Who is your mum?

An emo.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!

Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!

I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.

Why did the little girl cry twice?

Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.

Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.

What do you call it when an orphan takes a photo?

A family photo.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Tank." "Tank who?" "You're welcome!"

Me: Mom, we made a cake.

Bully: Guess what?

Me: What?

Bully: Nobody cares!

Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!

Have you ever seen that weird ad that pops up at the bottom: sexy Russian babes looking for men older than 30, and they're 18, so is it a reverse pedo? Oh well.

Charlie likes big, black chocolate.

Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?

Orphan: *Sobs* "No."

God, I love working at an orphanage!

Why do orphans have sex toys? Because the uncle isn't there.

Girl: Boys are like sports, they get played.

Boy: Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

Yo mama so fat that she broke the chair by sitting on it.