Worst Jokes Ever
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.
You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?
But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.
Taking you to go grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
If orphans made phones, it wouldn't have a home button.
My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.
Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
Q: Why does an orphan do badly at Baseball?
A: Because they can't find home.
Who used to say, "Who loves orange soda?" Kel loves orange soda. Yes, I do, do, do, doooo! Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Oh, yes, I dooooo! Kel Mitchell from Kenan and Kel.
Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."
Why are orphans terrible at baseball? They never get home runs.
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”
What do you call a kid laying down in the classroom? Kill confirmed.
What do you call three kids laying down in the classroom? Kill streak.
Why do orphans like to go to church?
So they have someone to call father.
If you're bored, punch an orphan in the face. What is he gonna do, tell his parents?
Q: Why can’t Jesus make fun of gay people?
A: He got nailed first.
What did the south tower say to the baby north tower?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.