Worst Jokes Ever
I'm gonna jump to my death.
Don't worry. I won't jump far.
Just off this chair here...
What do you call a family photo taken by an orphan?
A selfie.
How do you get away with rape and incest in California?
Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.
What is gay - curious π€ π³
π¬ π¬ a gay man that is curious about experiencing sex with a π¨ π© π¨ bisexual man.
π¨ π¨ π© π² π² π² does it cycle now?
π² π² π²
π’ π sorry for your luck π― honey it sucks πͺ π π to be you.
A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."
The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.
I was joking about self-harm to my friend, and she told me to "CUT it out!" I couldn't even laugh.
When we were at the self-checkout, she started scanning my arms. I asked her what she was doing. She said, "Trying to see if it beeps, ya think I'd get it to work if I scanned your thighs?"
I said, "Nah, bro, you'd overload the system if you put it there."
Some say Stephen Hawking was a genius, but I never heard him say anything intelligent.
You know if you go to Wal-Mart, and go to the milk section, you might just find your dads.
If a heterosexual man wanted his dick sucked, what would a feminist say to him that a gay man would never say to him?
"Not now, I have a headache."
If you kill an orphan, would that count as a squad wipe?
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing Iβve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh itβs not what you think, Iβm just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
What is the most common crime in China?
Identity fraud.
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot.
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
Whatβs the difference between Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker?
They both died at 95.
What does the 'w' in Africa stand for? Water.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.