What is a Mexican's only obstacle?
Border patrol.
Worst Jokes Ever
What did the traffic light 🚦 say to the car 🚗? Don’t look, I’m about to change!
What do you call a Black person going down a waterslide? Sewage.
"Suicide is a murder, and my body should go to jail."
My fortune cookie said, "Your existing plans will succeed." Not necessarily, since I'm suicidal...
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.
Why is 10 so sad? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
How did the retard get hurt raking the leaves?
Fell out of the tree.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
Because they don't believe in higher powers.
I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.
What milk do orphan babies drink?
Not their mom's, though.
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
KFC doesn’t use toilet paper because it is finger lickin' good!
There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.
White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!