Worst Jokes Ever

Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.

I would rather be drugged and robbed by Cardi B than listen to her f***ing music.

Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.

I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"

Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...

It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.

Why did most orphans become prostitutes?

Because they wanted a daddy.

Why do orphans want to die?

Because they might see their parents in Heaven.

My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.

You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?

You were hit by a shockwave!

So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.

Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.

Why is Biden a priest?

So kids call him father.

Your hairline goes so far back that it stretches the length of Ohio.

All of you idiots who think that it is ok to laugh about us foster kids need to be shot.

What's the difference between an orphan and a Chinese kid?

The Chinese kid has a home.

So, I don't want anyone taking this the wrong way, people are free to be whatever they feel they are, and that's not anyone else's choice.

BUT!!!!!!

I personally have my own feelings on "churches and christianity". I feel that it is against The God Delusion and is an abomination to anyone who has half a braincell. I know plenty of Christian people, and I respect that! NO, REALLY, I DO. My best friend is a dumbass Christian just like you are, and I respect that's how she feels, and I'm glad that she made her choice. But I don't love it when people promote this stuff, because it is what the morons are tricking everyone into doing/being. Falling into the brainwashed act is NOT something you should ever want to do. As someone who has some intelligence, this is not okay in my sense.

As someone who isn't an Aussie, I note that Idfk what this is: "The people who defended Australia get 2 days, remembrance day and Anzac day + 1 minute of silence." BUT the christianism community gets YEARS IN THIS DUMB WORLD where they are told that they are 'special' and 'normal, like everyone else'. Which is really unfair and in a way, biased. I was only 7 when I recognized this just from being told at school by all the kids in my class that they are either CHRISTIAN or support it.

I know and understand I will get a lot of hate from this, I also don't give a shit, but please remember that it's just my thoughts and opinion. Thank you for reading. :)

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly woman?

The Twin Towers got fucked.

Died and came back sped. I call that rien-tardation.

Quiet Kid: *reaches into bag*

Teacher: EVERYBODY RUN!

How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?

Both of them.