My mom gave my friend a blow job for good luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview, and they both got the job. Now who needs good luck? Just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
Worst Jokes Ever
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
What is Michael Jackson's favorite fruit?
Boisenberry.
Your sister is your mother.
Your father is your brother.
You all shag one another.
The Inbred family.
What do black parents and elevators have in common?
Neither of them can raise anything without a belt.
What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?
If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.
Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?
It’s called "Maybe Dick."
My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.
Who are the fastest readers in history?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Why is America so bad at playing Jenga?
Because they already lost two towers.
Why is the queen the most powerful piece in chess?
Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
Jokes about the poor aren't rich.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
Why does an orphan go to a spelling bee?
So they can spell "home."
Kid: Hi.
Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?
Kid: Why are you rude?
Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.
Republicans really want weed not to be legal, fucking cunts!
What do you call James Bond when he’s taking a bath?
Bubble 07.
Q: Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
A: Because they lost two of their towers.
We used to be the tallest buildings in New York...
Then we took an Arab to the knee.
My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.