one day i was working at the bank, doing my job then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so i pushed her over, then i told her that her balance is un-balanced
So guys, I have a friend who is named Sarah, and I was riding bikes with her the other day, and she told me she is gay. I totally support her. I love that she is open about it and not scared to tell people about it. I hope you guys can support her too! I love you all! :)))
A kid was asking a mother for money.
Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.
The kid kept asking the mother for money.
Mother: I already told you I don't have money.
The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!
I was playing basketball and a guy in a wheelchair asked if he could play.
I looked at him and told him that we are looking for ankle breakers, yours are already broken.
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your pšnis." š„°
My sister said download "Among Us" on my iPad, so I did. Then she taught me to play. Then she told me a code and told me where to put it, and I typed in the code.
Then she was the imposter, and I was a crewmate, so I was sticking with her, and she killed me when we made it to the medbay.
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
My dad never came back with the milk my mom told me he's in the army
What did the shoe tell the feet?
"Put me on your feet!"
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, itās been two years, and he still hasnāt gotten into the van.
The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:
"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."
š³
I told a girl she was cute, and she said, "Aw, tysm."
How does she know I have that?
A friend of mine told me something that I cannot forget, and I am now traumatized to hell. The next day a kid was set for an amber alert that looked exactly like my DEAR friend! :)
People say towers can't move. Apparently, nobody told that to the Trade Centers.
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
I'm a teacher at a high school, but I got fired. They told me I didn't do any work even though I always did a skele-ton.
I saw a man today wearing a t-shirt that said "I'm with stupid."
I told him, "You know, that's not very nice."
He looked at me and said, "I'm with stupid, too."
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
