Told jokes

One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.

My friend asked me why I know how to tie a noose.

I told them, "because I’m such a noose-ance."

My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.

Why can orphans never be kidnapped?

No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."

Guys, stop making jokes about orphan's parents.

Who will be told? Oh wait.

The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."

I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.

I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.

My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.

Once a woman suspected that her husband was fucking their daughter at night. So she made a plan. That night, she gave her daughter sleeping pills and told her husband that you go to sleep, I have a headache and I will sleep on the sofa in the drawing room today. After everyone slept, she picked up her sleeping daughter and laid her on the sofa and went to her bed and lay down. After an hour, the door of the room opened and one man entered the room and jumped on the bed and fucked her intensely for 2 hours. Then she turned on the light with the bed switch and said, "You definitely didn't expect me." "I definitely didn't expect you, MOM! But you are more delicious than sister"! Her son replied in surprise!

I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.

My grandma asked me if I could visit her.

I told her no, I don’t like graveyards.

I was told to burn calories, so I threw your mom in the fire.

My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.

My mom told me a joke she made 13 years ago, but she didn't tell me what it was... Anyways, I'm turning 14 next month.

Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.

My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

The other day I started watching Game of Thrones.

I told my friend about it. Told him all about the violence, murder, decapitation, gore, sex, gay sex, midget sex, prostitution, rape, paedophilia, incest, and inbreeding... And he was like: "Oh, so you're still on the first episode then?"