To-do jokes

"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.

So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

I burned an orphan's hand and then they said, "You will pay for this."

Me: "What are you going to do? Tell your parents?"

I smacked an orphan.

What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

What can a physically handicapped ♿ gay man 👬 do on his own very well 👏 without being taught how to do?

Perform fellatio on gay men.

You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.

All I have to do is go to the Africa section.

This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?

Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!

My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.

I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?

Person: You can't kill an orphan!

Me: What are they going to do, go tell their parents?

I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.

If your kid beats up an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.

Want to do a titcock dance with me?

What's the best competition to do with an orphan?

Which orphan had their parent for the longest?

Jonny went fishing and he didn’t know how to cast his pole, and he asked his friend Joe how to cast it. Then when he cast, he only cast 3 feet, and he never learned how to do it.

Your hairline has a huge path between it, looks like Moses had something to do with it.

Me: What do you want to do for your birthday?

Fiancé: I want to go somewhere I've never been before!

Me: Well welcome to the Kitchen!

Why do crack heads like to do it doggy style?

So one can peep out window and one can peep on floor.