To-do jokes
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
Whenever I’m bored, I hit up my local orphanage and beat some of them up.
I mean honestly, what are they going to do, tell their parents? 😂😂
I would create an orphan website, but you need a homepage to do that.
Papyrus: Sans, stop being a lazy Bones.
Sans: Why bro, guess you don't have the back bone to do anything, heheh.
If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
I want to do Uranus. (tounge emoji) (wet emoji)
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
What's a good way to masturbate?
Get somebody to do it for you.
I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.
My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?
Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!
Why don't orphans do homework?
They don't have a home to do it in.
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
I finally got my wife to shut up.
Who knew all I had to do was bury her alive all these years, ha! Try telling me to get my feet off the couch now, Karen!
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?