Tire jokes
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.
So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...
What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?
"I'm totally dogging it today..."
Me: MOM, I'm tired.
Mom: Take a nap.
Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.
Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.
My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?
Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.
Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.
Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-
Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.
Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?
Am tired of my country!!!! How can two policemen use one gun?
Tired kid with asthma: "It's hard to breathe."
Gym Teacher: "That's alright."
Other Kid: "Hush!"
One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
Me: Mom, I'm tired.
Mom: "Then go to sleep."
Me: No, you don't understand-
Why did Mrs. Henderson get a divorce from her husband, Harry?
She was tired of everyone calling the family "Hairy" and the Hendersons.
What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?
Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.
What did Hellen Keller do when she fell in a hole?
She screamed until her hands got tired.
What has two tires and no engine? A magic house 🏡
Why was the bus sleeping? Because it was too tired.
I am sick and tired of horror movies; it is always the stupid ones that die first. When you see a guy in a dark, bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; don't scream, run!
What is the difference between a flat tire bicycle and a woman?
Answer: You need to pump the tire on the bicycle before you ride it, while a woman you need to ride her and pump.
haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.
A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini.
The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him.
The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao.