Action hero jokes
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 80 people.
Then it exploded.
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris once ran all the way around the equator and kicked himself in the back.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.
Chuck Norris caught all the Pokémon -- from a landline.
Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
Chuck Norris one-shot down a German fighter plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling "bang!"
Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.
Chuck Norris once ate ONE Lays potato chip.
John Cena once insulted Chuck Norris. That's why we can't see him anymore.
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.
He scares the shit out of it.
Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
Chuck Norris sent the chicken back across the road.