Threw Jokes

My friend said onions only cry so that’s why I threw a coconut at him

One day I threw a boomerang...

Now i live in constant fear

Today I was at PE and I saw a kid in a wheel chair I threw a basketball at him and I yelled rocket league.

One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately it was light beer.

so i got my sister shampoo for her birthday and she stood there and threw her wig on the floor

This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making into a house and halucinating that they have a family.

So I threw out the cardboard and said "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies arent real. You cant and will never get a home"

Next day they make cardboard parents so i threw that away and said "May attention to reality, you will never get parents:

Next day they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again I said "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent" The orphan responded with "Oh really?! How so" I just simply said "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat out old people!"

A man who drinks a lot is told by his that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him. Later the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no.' He says to his friend' if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Dont worry' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no' the man says producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'Whats the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'

I threw a gay person into a fire, now we call him LGBBQ

I got in trouble today bc I threw a lamp at the emo kid and said lighten up

My family was watching home alone 2, so whenever Kevin was top of the twin towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.

The cannibal got angry so he threw up his arms

I found a rock at the park, i threw it at some orphans.

What would they do? Go to their family?

I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map, it took me ages to finish it. But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground and it's done.

Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told the 911 that I was mugged

So There was a male whale and a female whale swimming threw the ocean .One day the male whale sees a ship and says "that's the ship that killed my parents" . So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea. The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive so he opened his mouth and went for the man but out nowhere the female whale yells. " HEY!!, I was in it for the blowjob but I'm not gonna eat sea men"

Two lepers playing cards... one threw his hand in; the other laughed his head off

There once was 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said this is disgusting and threw it out the window the 2nd man bit into a banana and said this is rotten and he threw it out the window the 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed " ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT" and he threw it out the window. Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying he replied an apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head! the police officer said that is weird and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked why are you crying and he answered a banana came flying out of the sky and hit he on the head the officer said this has been a strange day. Then he says a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said while he was laughing my dad farted and the house blew up.

Johnny had 55 pineapples. He threw three at his friend. How many does he have now?

None because he was pistol whipped then shot at point blank range with a sawed off shotgun covered in fluoroantimonic acid which burned a hole in his skull causing his brain to melt and rupture nerve cells all over his friends. Then his arms and legs were stuffed into a wheat thresher which was used to harvest the meat of the enslaved children. Then his corpse was molested.

Two kids walked into a bar, they were covered with blood. the bartender asked what happened. The youngest said "Well, we we're trying to paint our basement but we threw the babies too hard".