The ball kept getting bigger and bigger...
And then it hit me.
Thought Jokes
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.
I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.
Man 1: Dude, Viagra is for pussies. Real men donโt need Viagra.
Man 2: I thought Viagra was for dicks?
A brunette fought and didn't get raped.
A blonde thought and did get raped.
My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...
My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. I personally am on the fence.
The short kid came earlier than I thought. Guess he came with such short notice.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
Yo mama so dumb, she thought TikTok was an alarm setup.
People thought they were going to another country till they saw terrorists were flying the plane.
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
Yo mama so fat, she thought "RAW MEN" was "RAMEN."
Yo Mama is so stupid, she thought the football team Rams were actually the animal rams.
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!
I thought you played football 'cause you're hairline is receiving.
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
