Thing Jokes

Why do orphans hate Christmas? Father Christmas isn’t a thing.

What is michael Jackson's favorite thing to eat from? Children's menu

It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go barf, American dogs go woof and Chinese dogs go sizzle

If I ever stuff up a post, please let me be. I do have ADHD, short term memory disorder and dyscalculia so please remember that no-one likes to be picked on for things that they can't control.

Karien: Mom, I don't care if you're dating a new guy, I want you and Dad to be together!

Daiana: Sometimes things don't work out, like when it didn't work between your father and me. Time to move on Karien.

Karien: Will I'm not moving on! I can't believe you love someone else!

Daiana: Karien, just give him a chance. His name is Derek he loves cooking, cleaning, and anything that has you doing something.

Karien: That is so boring!

Daiana: Will just work with me please?

Karien: I'll give you a day...24 hours mom!

When your uncle drops a nickel but the only thing he really drops is his pants

(To a thief) If you like taking things, hbu take my life.

Throw a plate.. It’s broken right?.. Say “sorry” to it.. Did it fix back?.. No..that’s the Same thing you did to me:)

Hi guys the prankster is backster!

I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named gwen! So my 6th prank is on...

When I put some bad stuff in my sisters tooth past bottle!

Okay so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tastying is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there so I got some mints and putted it there! Then next thing you new was! My sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzes buttock!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says,”What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?” The boy cries. Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says,”You gonna tell your mom?”, the little boy says, Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Why hand holding is a couple thing? Because they touch each others genitals anyway.

“ when the ugliest cat looked at you“ then you search up the ugliest thing in the world” you show up

do you know when the thing of you when the was is where you and if you when you where if i and you where in the thing is where yes

what's the difference between a glass of chocolate milk and a toddler? The thing is I wasn't arrested for throwing a glass of chocolate milk against the wall

whats the one thing that you dont have but celebrities do?

Lots of FANS

Paddy and Murphy are walking down street, when all of a sudden Paddy falls down a manhole, Murphy shouts down "Paddy is it dark down there". Paddy shouts up "dunno Murphy I crnt see a fecking thing"