Thing jokes

That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.

Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.

The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: The Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him.

The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native American kills him. They both see each other in heaven and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?"

The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”

God: (creating elephants) Make it big.

Angel: How big?

God: As big as my d--

Angel: Whoa!

God: Fine, 10 feet tall.

Angel: That's big bu--

God: Put a long thing on its face.

On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.

Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.

What’s the worst thing about being a pedophile?

Fitting it in.

What did Tennessee?

Same thing that Arkansas did.

The sun isn’t the only thing that rose up this morning...

What's the best thing about beating up orphans?

They can't tell their parents.

Most annoying thing...

When we send something in WhatsApp thinking our friend is online but can only see two grey ticks...

Snover1: You can't pass through Snow Way!

Squirtle: Why can't I pass through Snow Way?

Snover1: There's snow in the way.

Snover2: Yeah, you can't get past through the snow while it's on the way, to continuous.

Squirtle: What? There's snow in here the whole time. What is this? Snow Society?!

"AAAAARRRGGH!!"

Squirtle: Who is that?

Snover2: That is Snow.

Squirtle: What?! That giant snow tree thing is Abomasnow!

Snover2: Oops! Don't be a Halt!

"Haaaaaaaaallllltttt!!!"

"Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!"

Snovers: That was a JOKE, Squirtle be FROZEN, just let it go, let it go!

There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: "Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have! You don't have it because you are poor!" The poor child answers: "You're right, it's very nice, but I have one thing that you don't have!" The rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline, and all the other games that can be done outdoors and says to the poor child: "Look at that beautiful swimming pool I have! It is very big; you don't have it because you are poor!" And the poor child says: "Beautiful, it is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have." So the rich child feels bad. He says: "Wait, but I'm rich! How is it possible? I have everything I want because I'm rich. Why do you have something that I don't have?" And the poor child says: "I have cancer!"

What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?

Quack.

What does a girl want more than anything in the world?

Nothing. She's fine.

Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do, so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing, so hope you enjoy, and you don't have to read this!

So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise, and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars, which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff, but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do, and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!

Why do orphans hate Christmas?

Father Christmas isn’t a thing.

What’s the best thing about fucking twenty-eight year olds?

There’s twenty of them!

There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?

A pentagon.

What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?

Root beer.

What's the best thing about an orphan GF?

You don't have to meet her parents.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite thing to eat from? The children's menu.