They jokes
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
Why can’t Jesus eat M&Ms? They keep falling through his hands.
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
Why is it so difficult to watch hentai?
They moan louder than your speakers.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jack undressed, and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. But stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".
Orphans only have 363 days because they don't have Mother's or Father's Day.
Why do orphans become hookers?
They can call someone daddy.
Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrrrrr!
What’s one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in school zones.
The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.