They jokes
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
Memes
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
What’s one good thing about pedophiles?
They drive slow in school zones.
Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrrrrr!
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until they go home.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "I know you wanna." Jack undressed, and she pulled up her dress so they could have some fun. But stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Guess why orphans can't be gay? Cause they have no one to call Daddy.
Orphans only have 363 days because they don't have Mother's or Father's Day.
Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".
Why do orphans become hookers?
They can call someone daddy.
The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.
What do terrorists do on 9/11? They have a game of Jenga.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
What do orphans call their parents?
Unicorns because they don’t exist.