They jokes
Why do orphans play a lot of tennis?
Cause that's the only way they get love.
Why can’t Jesus eat M&Ms? They keep falling through his hands.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.
China is as fake as bitches with plastic surgery, and they talk about body positivity.
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
How is baseball like cake?
They both need batters.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?
Because they don't know who's Homer.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.