They jokes
A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones.
A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
Not done yet.
Now they are.
What's similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the fetus inside of her? They are both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's gonna kill me."
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
What is common in my AirPods and the Titanic?
They sync properly.
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
I was studying in Turin, and my professor told me I had to use PENS only.
I looked in my bag for pens, and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you, Penaldo!
A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.
"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.
"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."
The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"
She said, "Not everybody paid."
What does a pedophile and a light switch have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Yo mama so fat, when she said, "I want a boat," they gave her a naval ship.
Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
Why was Tickle Me Elmo upset when he left the factory?
Because they only gave him one test tickle.
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.
Why do orphans go to church? So that they can call someone Father.
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but they usually crash and burn.
Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?
Because they don't know who's Homer.