They jokes

Friend

I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3

Cat

There were 10 cats on a boat. 1 jumped off. How many were left? I DO NOT KNOW.

There was none left. They were all a bunch of copycats.

Condom

Tyler only has a kid because they don't make condoms the size of Lego Men.

Grass

What's the difference between cars and grass?

They both have wheels, except for the grass.

Dog

All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.

They run and play along the streets of Gold.

Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...

Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.

Dog

Why do dogs howl?

Because that's the other contraction they know.

Ice

In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.

Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.

Jedi

Why don't Jedis make puns that often?

They usually have to force them. (I hate myself for that!)

Orphan

When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Kid

Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!

Survivor

Why are the 9/11 survivors the fastest readers in the world?

Because they went down 109 stories in 10 seconds.