They jokes
So the fire alarm went off, but as soon as they walked out of the classroom, the only fire they saw was out of a gun.
If you're ever bored, hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why can't an orphan hit a home run? Because they don't know where home is.
What do dogs do that trees don't do?
Answer: They bark!
badoom ching
Why are smurfs blue?
Because they get bruises all the time.
I like trees when they are firmly stuck in a hole. PS, your hole.
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(
The person next to me on my flight was shocked when they found out I was Arabian. I lagged so hard my gerber almost fell out of my pocket.
What's an orphan's favorite sport?
Baseball, because they finally have a home.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have someone to call daddy.
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Why do orphans not have a home? Because they don’t have a family.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why can an orphan go to a store to buy something and what can come back home?
Because they don't have a home.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a NAVIGATOR dropping the beat.
Q. Why can't orphans play baseball?
A. Because they don't know where home is.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:
Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.
Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?
Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.
A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work, not aware that her 9-year-old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "That's my dad outside." Man: "How much did you say the baseball was again?" Boy: "$250."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's lover are in the closet together.
Boy: "Dark in here." Man: "Yes, it is." Boy: "I have a baseball glove." Man: "That's nice." Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No, thanks." Boy: "I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad." Man: "How much did you say the glove was again?" Boy: "$750." Man: "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball!" The boy says, "I can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says, "$1,000." The father says, "It's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Do not start that shit again!"