They jokes
What do 9/11 and gender have in common?
They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
Why are Indians dark?
Because they are born and bred in chicken curry.
Memes
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
Wonder why the Japanese people didn't see the bombs coming?
They didn't open their eyes.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
Why do orphans like cows?
Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash? They already lost two towers.
Why is America bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost two towers.
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
Your forehead [is] so big scientists measured it, studied it, and then finally they said: "Oh my God... your forehead is so big it's a 50 mile car ride from your eyebrows to your hair!"
Why did Justin Bieber start playing hide and seek with his fans?
Because they keepped.
2001 called... they hit the Pentagon.
Your hairline's so far up, they call it a skyline!
Why do people have a lot of money and they have to spend it on jewelry 24/7 all the time?
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
The Eagles when they actually thought they were gonna win the Super Bowl. 😹
What do you call an orphan when they eat a meal? A family dinner.